…what you could get for the fastest guy you knew in high school in an MLS trade?
Apparently, the answer is a 3rd round draft pick. Assuming, of course, the fastest guy you knew in high school had zero finish around the net.

Jeff Cunningham, the above-average-paced-but-recently-completely-ineffective-at-anything-but-running Striker, has been traded to FC Dallas for a third round pick and a promise that they’ll pay his remaining salary.

Thank god. It’s over, folks.